The Marauders' Festivis
by R2-D2106
Summary: What has Professor McGonagall pushed to the limits of patience? Why, the Marauders and Lily celebrating the famous non-denominational holiday of course!


**Okay, I did the research on this: Festivis started in 1964 and was simply made popular by the American comedy show "Sienfeld". I don't own that or the charectors. I simply play with their sanity for my own amusement and the amusement of the fanfiction community. Speaking of which, I FINALLY FOUND A JOB. Even though it's only seasonal, I'm at least not going to waste my time sitting at home. I'm also taking a History class over my winter break (yeah, I'm a geek, I know). So please, enjoy, THE MARAUDERS CELEBRATE FESTIVIS.**

The Marauders Celebrate Festivis 

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

December 19, 1977

The Marauders were in the library.

Again.

For the past week when people would ask them what they were doing there they (or more specifically Remus Lupin) would reply "Studying."

This was unusual, and it had Professor Minerva McGonagall worried.

James Potter and Sirius Black did not study-ever. It went against all rules and regulations of their so-called "Code of Honor". Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, she understood. One was one of the few struggling students that passed his OWL in Transfiguration and the other had always been called (even by his friends) a bookworm.

In short, she was suspicious. Lately Potter's girlfriend, Lily Evans (another bookworm) had been joining them. They appeared to be taking notes.

She was sure the entire school would find out before the students went home for the holidays. Much to her dismay, the group had signed up to stay over break (she was sure the school wouldn't make it if this continued).

Well, the morning of the nineteenth she got her answer. The five hadn't shown up for classes (like they did when they celebrated "Thanksgiving") so cursing each and everyone of them, she made her way up to the Room of Requirement. Nothing. No shouting, no sounds of cooking, no arguments from Potter and Evans. Nothing.

Knowing she would regret it, she made her way to Gryffindor Tower. When she entered, she wished she had just gone back to breakfast. A solid metal pole stood in the center of the now semi-destroyed common room. A sign of the bulletin board (she could swear she saw birds flying on the thing) proclaimed "Happy Festivis".

She didn't even say anything. She simply pointed the way out the common room. Evans was the first to comply, followed quickly by Potter who followed like an obedient puppy. Black not looking ashamed in the least while Lupin glared at him with an I-told-you-so look on his face while Pettigrew, as always, scampered after.

Professor McGonagall gave the pole a final glare and left the common room.

Well, at least they attended their classes that day. All was calm. She supposed it was too good to last.

At dinner, an apparent argument broke out between the five. She figured it could be left until later until Lupin threw a jacket potato at Potter, missed and ended up hitting a Ravenclaw in the head.

Another food fight broke out. For the third time that year, she contemplated burning the Sorting Hat for putting those….well, there wasn't a word to describe them other than, _Marauders_ in her house in the first place.

Five minutes later she sat at her desk across from the five of them. Lupin was glaring at Black (who looked pleased with himself). Pettigrew looked terrified and she could see Evans itching to up and punch her boyfriend's nose.

Knowing she'd regret it later, she asked them what they were doing. "Why Professor" Black had the audacity to sound shocked. "Surely you know Festivis starts with the airing of the grievances'."

"The what?"

"Airing of the grievances. Basically you tell your friends how they have displeased you in the last year."

Minerva McGonagall didn't even want to _count _the way those four had displeased her last year.

So she settled for writing out detention slips for the five of them.

In April, 1997, Harry Potter paused in his copying.

Names: _Black, Sirius; Evans, Lily; Lupin, Remus; Pettigrew, Peter; Potter, James_

Reason for detention: _Placing a "Festivis" pole in the Gryffindor common room, food _

_fight, celebrating "Festivis"_

Punishment: _Helping Argus Filch for remainder of holidays _

Comments: _Do they honestly have brains, and if so, why do they not use them? _

He thought about it. "Festivis" had a nice ring to it.

One Christmas later, Gryffindor Tower woke up again to find their common room half destroyed and the Festivis pole standing proudly.

**Well...happy holidays: Happy Hannakah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzah, Happy New Year! Happy Festivis!  
**

**Trivia: Which American Department store is most famous for saying "Merry Christmas" as opposed to "Happy Holidays"?**

**Answer: Sears.**

**That's all for now folks!  
Yours in fanfics,**

**R2-D2106**


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